positivity and miscellaneous bits of inspiration

i am trying to stay positive.

i think i've done a relatively good job, considering i have no money and haven't had a full-time job since mid-october. i go through waves. yesterday was a very low wave. i had no motivation. i paid $350 to get the windshield wiper motor fixed on my car. i felt lost. i have plenty of small projects to work on: a revamped portfolio, a couple website updates, cover letters, cover letters and more cover letters. normally, i can get things done, at least a little bit. not yesterday. and i suppose you can't dwell on those days. you just have to hope that tomorrow will be better.

i woke up at 5:00am this morning. just...awake. i've already gotten more done in the 4 hours i've been up than i did all day yesterday. throughout my schooling, my mom would tell me "bird by bird," after anne lamott's book. sometimes i get so overwhelmed by everything, that i forget about all the easy (and sometimes not so easy) steps along the way. you just have to cross one thing off the list at a time. bird by bird.

in other news, i found this gem on apartment therapy this morning:


it's one of artist frank chimero's state prints and as a tribute to my homeland, i LOVE the above print. you can buy them on his website for $20.

if i weren't completely broke, mine would be in the mail.

beds are important

somehow, a good looking bed is essential for my mental well being (perhaps part of my obsession with perfection and/or high standards). if my bed looks good, i sleep better. see the above picture of my quasi-new bed. duvet and shams are old school isaac mizrahi for target and i jazzed them up with red pillows from ikea. and, of course, i sleep best under the mountains. even if they're pixelated.

high standards

i work part-time in a clothing store. a big clothing store. i'm relatively new there; about 3 months. and the other night, when we were closing the store, one of the managers asked me why i had such high standards. did i work somewhere really strict?

no. that's just the way i am. everything has to be perfect. i like my closet when all the shoes line up and my tee shirts are all folded the same width and color coordinated. i don't know why. throughout my schooling, i would have "bad handwriting days." if i wrote something and thought it didn't look perfect, i would erase it and re-write it. freak. of. nature.

i go back and forth between thinking that this behavior is all right and thinking that i am a perfectionist to a fault. the thing is, it's not the end of the world if an ugly page exists in one of my notebooks. i just feel more content if everything is just right.

how do i make sure that i am using my high standards for good and not evil?

addendum: www.1000journals.com

i forgot to mention 1000 journals in the post below. a collaborative, interactive project. exactly the kind of thing i am interested in right now. and i am dying to get a hold of one, to make my little mark.

networking and a museum

i have never been a good networker. my friend S? great, networker. if they gave a pulitzer or nobel for networking, she would win, hands down. i, on the other hand, have always felt weird asking people i don't know (and those i do, actually) for help. i get awkward and shy. then i stress over what i did wrong and dread the next step. in the past week, though, something's come over me and i have miraculously sucked it up. i've actually been looking for connections.

my outlook has changed. taking a few classes has put me back in an academic mode and i remember that all of this, (meaning, my life, really) is a learning experience. what can i learn from you? and you? and you. that's the way i'm looking at things right now.

and while i was in an academic, curious state of mind today, i wandered to the museum of modern art.

here's a highlight:


it's from this fantastically moving project and i stood in front of this image for a long time. something about the woman, her expression, hit me right in my core.

tweet tweet

do you tweet? twitter, that is.

i do, sometimes. a friend asked what the point was and i wasn't really sure how to answer. new york mag has a great article profiling the company "how tweet it is."

i suggest we all take notes.

it's good to have people look out for you

i am really, really bad at self-promotion. luckily, i have people around me who know this.

two things, (maybe more) about today: (1) my good friend C is extremely business savvy and she graciously gives me advice. today's homework for our next "meeting" is to write down things i am doing to promote my website and services. AND list the services i offer. since i normally just DO things, without really organizing them in a business-like manner, these are extremely helpful exercises. (2) L and i go way back. she's very charismatic, in the spotlight, multitalented, and (most importantly, to me anyway) so willing to help and inspire everyone around her. it's contagious. she's asked me to write a piece on her blog about taking the big leap in your life and inspiring others in the process. cool. very cool.

in addition, (told you there would be more), i went to a critique of my new photo project tonight and felt comfortable speaking about my work. speaking about my work has always been a challenge. workshops, actually, have always been a challenge. in the past, i've always taken workshop criticism personally, and i am starting to learn that having people criticize your work makes it better, (newsflash). if it were perfect, it would be hanging in a museum.

so make it better, right?

a whole new mind

i read daniel pink's a whole new mind a couple years ago and found it to be particularly provocative. after rereading it last month, i think it's only becoming more pertinent. there's a flurry of press about it and it really emphasizes my thoughts about the importance of creativity.

clarification

i thought i should clarify the title of this blog. i don't want to imply that there is a creative downturn happening in addition to the economic downturn. rather, i'm curious how this economic downturn will affect creative occupations and thought processes. how are we going to use creativity to turn negative to positive?

the creative downturn

i am creative. i am bright. i am resourceful. and i am unemployed.

i'm not alone, am i?

i moved from the country to the city about three months ago in hopes of finding a broader range of creative input. this part has proven true. while i haven't found a place to go everyday from 9 to 5 (at least not a place that will pay me), i've found that stimuli i was searching for. the hard part now, i suppose, is finding some way to put all the pieces together.

before i continue on my pity party, i should probably clarify that i'm not entirely "unemployed." i work as a freelance graphic designer. i like what i do, but right now, this path is very isolated. i want a group of like-minded people to work with. earlier today, i was working from home, growing completely frustrated with a project. photoshop kept freezing on me. i was distracted by my gmail inbox, waiting for an email from one of the many jobs@ourcompany.com addresses i'd sent my resume to. so i plugged some interpol in my ears and went for a run. i sprinted for about 10 minutes. then jogged for another five. ran up a lot hills. push ups. wall sits. tv watchers. and somehow the sweat knocked some sense into me.

when i got home, i started talking to my roommate about my frustration. throughout the conversation, i realized that (1) my path has never been a straight line. (2) finding a "career," an "occupation" isn't going to be a stay-between-the-lines journey either. (3) as a creative person, i have a responsibility to find a new way to make a living.

who's with me?

i hope to find a little support group of other creative minds, who are also looking for new solutions to this old problem, this economic downturn. creativity, i think, might be the solution.